Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
