Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
