uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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