I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
