There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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