Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
