Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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