Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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