Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Randomize
