You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
