I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
