drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
