buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize