She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
