Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
