the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
