I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize