My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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