I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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