the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
