Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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