(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
