I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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