I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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