If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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