I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
