I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
