if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
