Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
