My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize