covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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