I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize