never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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