I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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