We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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