Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
