went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That's when you crack a 10am beer
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Mom said you looked used
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking