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• (360): View more from Washington

  two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.

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• (212): View more from New York

  I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.

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• (949): View more from California

  You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  How does this kind of shit happen to you?!

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.

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