u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
