Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
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Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
sex in a hospital.. check
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.