What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize