And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
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I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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