dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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