Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
