Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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