So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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