In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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