this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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