Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
