He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
