I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
