have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
