But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
