I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
