dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
