also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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