How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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