margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
