Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
