You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
