just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy