Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.