If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
