i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
