Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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