his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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