A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it was like eating out sand paper
she told me i tasted like america
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
