im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
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Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Everyone says I win the strip club
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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