OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
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